What I really meant to say... (what's playing on repeat in my mind)

Losing a whole year Losing a whole year I remember you and me used to spend The whole goddamned day in bed Losing a whole year Hiding in your room we'd lay like dogs And the phone would ring like a joke that's left unsaid Losing a whole year Rich daddy left you with a parachute Your voice sounds like money and your face is cute But your daddy left you with no love And you touch everything with a velvet glove now you want to try a life of sin You want to be down with the down and in Always copping my truths I kind of get the feeling like I'm being used
When I came to visit you That's when I knew That I could never have you I knew that before you did Still I'm the one who's stupid And there's this burning Like there's always been I've never been so alone And I've never been so alive
I never felt alone Till I met you And I’m alright on my own And then I met you And I’d know what to do if I just knew what’s coming
I saw you go Faster Right in front of me She stares at him so madly She's got the nerve to say She wants to fuck that boy so badly I saw you go Faster I want to get off one time and not apologize You got a steal the time of a life that's passing by I want to get off one time and look you in the eyes I want to get off one time, get off one time
I was hoping you would be waiting there for me lately I was hoping you would be waiting there for me But you're not the kind who would be waiting, not for anybody You're not the kind who would be waiting there for anybodynot even me
Hey will you stay awhile My smile will not mislead you Cause I've been alone And my faith turned to stone Still there's something in you I believe in Close to your peersI go wild and fierce Still I let you be I feel you next to me Cause inside I feel A wind that starts to blow I'm taken in your undertow Everything is fine...But I'm lonely all the time
All I want to do is be there For the things that you're going through Is it good for you, is it good for you You haunt my nights whenI don't know where my life should go Is it good for you, is it good for you
Suckers lose themselves in the games they learn to play Children love to sing but then their voices Slowly fade away People always take a step away From what is true That's why I like you around I want you Yeah you do You make me want you
And there's a demon in my head who starts to play A nightmare tape loop of what went wrong yesterday And I hold my breath till it's more than I can take And I close my eyes and dream that I'm awake
And feel you, I do And I want this but I can't break through And your burning lights red and blue Everyone is so self-righteous Where have you sinners gone All you sinners And we're all alone What's ours is ours And outside rain It's just a shower And then I feel you breathe And I let go of the hours And I feel your skin And I let you in And that's my dream Again and again I feel the hours Sliding byEveryone is so self-righteous Lift your head again and try this Do you want this, in you You're the only thing that's real And we don't need to beg or steal
I believe in the sand beneath my toes The beach gives a feeling;an earthy feeling I believe in the faith that grows And the four right chords can make me cry When I'm with you I feel like I could die And that would be all right, all right
'Cause I felt you long after we were through When you come swimming into view And I'm hanging on your words Like I always used to do The words they use so lightly I only feel for you I only know because I'm way, I'm way In the background I'm in the background
The guy who put his hands on you Has got nothing to do with me, And the bruises that you feel will heal, And I hope you'll come around cause we're missing you And you used to speak so easy, Now you're afraid to talk to me It's like walking with the wounded Carrying that weight way too far Concrete pulled you down so hard Out there with the wounded We're missing you Well I never claimed to understand what happens after dark But my fingers catch the spark at the thought of Touching you When you're wounded
You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air,and we're missing you Now it's fall and your shoulders get tighter,Nervous flicks on your lighter, boots Your pissed off poets, your women's groups And the friends with you we should've known this fool, well i guess we missed the mark Still my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of Them touching you And I go wounded
And in this beauty i would not go any further'Cuz i suddenly rembered We can't live this way forever Idle daylight I've never caught you in a lie not until now i feel somehow i felt the passing of these days gone by what will you do when the feeling that you have is through i need to know 'cuz i'll never stop hanging on to you and it's times like this that i dread when there's everything to say and nothing left to be said to be said and it makes me sad...

This is my mind... like a third eye blind album constantly playing on repeat... sometimes I can't breathe, sometimes I can't sleep but this is where I hide. Can you find me?