My downfall

I'm hurting, I'm crying, I'm upset, I'm shocked, I'm in pain, I've lost trust, I'm exhausted, I'm unstable, I'm emotional.
I wished I hadn't listened to those I trust the most.
I'm weak, I'm scared, I'm distressed, I'm tired, I'm lost, I'm breaking down, I'm losing it, I'm out of control, I'm a mess.
Now I've been made into a liar which I've never been at all.
I'm falling, I'm failing, I'm screaming, I stopped breathing, I'm out of reach, I'm hiding, my walls are back up, I'm fading fast.
I'm sorry for many things I've done.
I'm sorry for what I did.
I'm confused, I'm dazed, I'm bewildered, I'm misinterpreted, I'm misunderstood, I'm aching, I'm shaken, I'm jaded, I'm a walking contradiction
And now you believe I'm someone I'm not.
I will never contradict this though my dear friend, I CARE ABOUT YOU and will continue to do so though the friendship has diminished. Once again when I said UNCONDITIONAL I meant it. If I never meant anything I said I meant that. I will always care about you no matter what you hear or read or choose to believe. If it didn't come straight out of my mouth, from now on, how about you not believe things you hear or read. We are still as much strangers as the day we met.

I'm so pathetic you made me finally said it so much more than this is gone.
My trust is gone. My walls are back. I'm finished wearing my emotions on my sleeves...xx