God: my ideas on him/her/you

So here's my readers digest version of what I think God is. You may not agree but personally I could care less. People are entitled to their opinions and here is mine as fucked up as it may seem.
So there's this guy/girl. Let's see let me rephrase this. There is this being. I believe that this being, this force,this presence created life. I believe everything that is here is here because of this being. Why are we here? What is our purpose? I don't know. Do we have to even have a reason to be here? Do we have to have purpose to live? No, we can just exist. There's nothing wrong with that but I believe some people are here to do bigger things than you're average Joe on the street. Not to blow my own horn but I'm one of those people who are here for something more. How do I know? I just do. If you were one of those people you would feel it to.
I'm off subject so I said God created life. Well we as humans can create life as well so aren't we in a sense God. We can create things and change things we have made this world what it is. Yes God may have started it but we took the keys and ran with it. We have created the world we live in. We create our own worlds, we make our homes, decide the future of our lives, surround ourselves with people we care for. We decide our lives basically. So it's like God started this kingdom and then stepped aside. Yes I believe there is a God but I believe he let's us do our own thing. I hate when people use God as an excuse to live. I've done it before but I've since then come to the realization that God is in me and where ever I am it is present. The decisions I make good or bad by some man written book are my decisions and God was present the entire time. I'm not living my life by what some conformist men who wanted people to be clones and not have minds of their own thought. Keep them in line, keep their mouths shut and behave like good little Christians. I'm not following rules that a man created to keep me from living a full life. I don't know I'm very jaded about this subject. I was brought up in the church and sometimes I think I was brainwashed. I believe in God my idea of God is different from yours I'm sure but I don't think God wants us to live boring mundane barely existing lives either. I think God wants us to enjoy life. I mean he created it I don't think he meant for us to just sit around and twiddle our thumbs. He wants us to live he wants us to enjoy everything life have to offer. Why would this world exist if all we were meant to do is exist? Come on people use your minds and your free will for a moment here.
If your idea of God is this judge figure who is watching our every move expecting us to live by rules man wrote and that we should make decision based souly on what we think he would want I would hate to be you. I would hate to live my life everyday cautious and scared of this being who doesn't step in when a tower full of people is falling to the earth. Free will people it's a gift use it. I'm not saying go out and murder someone. You know in your heart what is right and wrong by you. I believe that people are basically good I mean look at this world. Yes there are bads things very bad things but there are so many good things as well. We are this world, we make this world what it is. We are all God and God is us. Look at all the things we have accomplished look at this world we have made the good and the bad it is still beautiful and breath taking and amazing and we did it. Maybe we didn't start the world maybe there is something bigger than us but we did take this lump of clay if you will and we molded it into an amazing, amazing, world.
As for heaven and hell. This world is heaven this world is hell. It's all how you look at it. If you surround yourself with beautiful positive things then it is your heaven if you are in a destruction downward spiral it is your hell. It's all in your eyes you are the creator. Is there a heaven or a hell after we die? Who knows I've personally never died but why worry about it when you can have your own heaven or hell right now? Don't make your life a hell because you think when you die you'll go to heaven. Live for now. Live as is this is heaven this is the end the beginning all we have to look forward to is today.
It took me a while to learn this but I'm coming around. I'm not saying be reckless and destructive I'm saying be free. I'm saying live your life according to what your heaven is. Don't be repressed and live in fear of what comes after we die. Do what you have to do to make you feel alive whether it's writing a song or walking alone on a beach whatever it takes to make you feel like your more than you are. You are more than you are this life is a dream and you are the dreamer you can do anything. ANYTHING if you will just not hold back and not live in fear. There are endless possibilities in this world ENDLESS and they are waiting for you to stand up and decide what you want. You make your world what it is. You're a bigger role in this world than you know maybe you weren't the first person here maybe you didn't create the world but you are the creator of your world. Make life what you want it to be. Don't be afraid to live. Surround yourself with love and light and beauty and all things in the world that make you feel like more make you feel love make you feel alive make you feel like you are not alone. Because you're not alone. God is in you God is present You are God. hmm I don't even know if this makes any sense at all...
God I need to practice what I preach...