It's odd. I feel like I'm losing touch. Not that I had the touch to begin with. Not that I knew you to begin with. All I know of you is words. Beautiful words but just words none the less. I don't know you anymore than the day I met you. I want to. God I want to know what goes through that mind of yours when you're sitting in a crowd yet you still look completely isolated. Do those people know you? Do they even care to know more than you're whiling to give? Are they content with the glimmers of you they see from time to time? Is that the real you? Somehow I think there's more to it than meets the eye. Which keeps my interest. You're mind has to be like a play ground during recess. Millions of things going on all at one. Laughter, beauty, wonder, everything so fresh so new so fun. Maybe I'm completely wrong maybe it's more like a graveyard in the dead of night. Peaceful, calm, silent. Maybe it's both. I want to know. What's it like being you?
also a response... God is there when our children open their eyes and breathe their first breath. God is there in the music you play so effortlessly. God is there in the sunlight that hits your face like a warm kiss on a cold night. God is there in the silence of night. God is there in the sunrise and the sunset. My point is good or bad the point is God is there... I have to believe there's is more to life than evolving to death. No I don't believe in living this life carefully and the way a man written book tells me to behave. I believe in living everyday as if it were your last but I also believe there is more to life than this. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong it doesn't change anything.
I don't know what's going on with you lately. I wish I did. But I don't know you. I wish we talked more. Maybe it's one sided but I'm used to that. I'm used to caring for people more than they care for me. Used to loving unconditionally. Loving people I barely know, and yes I love you. I don't care if you believe me or not because it doesn't change anything. I'm still here. You're still there. My little world. Your bigger world. Very different but more the same than you can know.
Also I know I said I love him more than he loves me and he didn't know how to respond to it. He didn't have to. It's not going to change the way I feel. UNCONDITIONAL... I don't put conditions on my love and once you have it you've got it.
You've got it as well...
This post is random, I know but once again this is for my benefit. Sometimes the only person listening to me is me and I want to remember how I was feeling years from now so I write it down and recall it later. I don't want to forget another day ever again. I've forgotten too much already... That's all I have to tell you....
that's all I have to say...
are you listening?
Monday, September 11, 2006
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