I'm tired of my routine life. Someone please tell me it gets easier. Please tell me this is not all there is. That this is not all I'm meant for.
I used to believe I was put here for bigger things but somehow I forgot. I forgot... how did I forget? what's wrong with me?
When did I forget how to play and laugh? When did I forget how to sing? When did I forget what a genuine smile was? When did I forget how to trust? How to love? How to live in the moment? How to be free? How to feel free? When did I forget how to feel in general? When did I forget how to live?
What will it take to bring me back? When did I slip away? When did I stop breathing? When did my heart break beyond repair? When did I lose my way?
Where am I? Who am I? I thought I would remember myself and all that I stand for but lately it doesn't seem so important. Nothing seems important. I'm living my life in indifference and it scares me to be so impartial to things. There are very few things in this world that make me feel. I hope they know who they are and how much I value them. Without them I know I wouldn't be here and while I wish I could thank them all in person and tell them they've saved my life, I can't. I just want them to know I live nothingness and the only think that keeps me hopeful is the little moments with them that shoot in like rays of light in the darkness. I thank you more than you know and while you might not think you are important in my life you are what keeps me hanging on. and I thank you. I know you didn't ask for this burden but my life is in your hands... for now I need you until I can stand on my own.
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1 comment:
I wouldn't call it a burden... for every time someone holds you up you are holding them up too... even the strongest of us sometimes are weak and need someone to carry them. I love you and although I don't tell you enough you are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. Thank YOU, for all the things you do that you don't even know you do.
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