Forbidden Fruits

It's funny how when I thought you were forbidden I was infatuated. But then in the moment you made yourself too available, I wouldn't say I lost interest, but it became less of a challenge. I like the challenge I like to think something is forbidden. I like the "I show you what's forbidden" nature of myself. I like to play. I'm very spiteful. I'm very I'll show you what I can and can not do. With you I can, you've made that unmistakably clear and the attraction is still there it's just not as much fun. Does that make any sense at all? It makes perfect sense to me.
Okay so here's how I really know I like this guy. He's "forbidden" for different reasons than you but say in the near future he becomes "unforbidden" I'd still like him the same. Thrill of the chase has nothing to do with his and my odd relationship. I know there's no chasing to be done. This isn't a game with him.
Reading this back I feel like I'm not making any sense. hmm...
The games I like to play (though I'm not always the player) don't matter with him that's what I'm saying, they don't count. There are no games. That's how I know I like him for who he is and not the challenge of obtaining this man I think I'll never possess. Don't get me wrong I like you for the person you are too it's just different. This is so hard to explain...
Also when I say "Games" I don't mean any mind game bullshit like that. I mean the light airy part of whatever this is called. I'm not into mind games or fucking with someone's emotions or any bull shit like that it's just wrong. I'm not that evil. I don't think I would ever lead someone on to believe there was something more than there is just to sleep with them. Hell I know I wouldn't. I don't think I would sleep with someone just to rub it in his girlfriend/wives faces either. Sure I could of had him this is number three I believe but like I said first off he's too good for that second off I'm too good for that and thirdly that's not me. I really like him, for unexplainable reasons and it's not like I like you. hmm... I think three and I could be amazing friends and that's all I expect or want from him at this time. I want the most he can give and currently that's the most.
I want your friendship too of course (if you hadn't guessed by now I'm talking about you number one)(if you don't know you're number one we need to have a serious discussion about your reading skills)(stranger)(which is what I've also referred to you as)(don't make me spell it out)
this post is random... It's just what's on my mind currently. I was trying to decide why I like the certain men I like. What it is about them that holds my attention over the rest.
you know I think I'm going to go more in depth and continue this post on my xanga. So anyways good morning to you goodnight for me... Be safe...xx