Attraction? reaction...

bound and broken
fears unspoken
life is rushing
into nothing
this is it
is this it?

So life is still going swimmingly... The days are getting warmer I'm so happy... The cold was starting to get to me... We went to the cemetery the other day me kenzie and Anderson... I missed him he's such a sweet guy and so much braver and wiser than I ever gave him credit for. We talked about his issues, my issues life in general. He's in college but doesn't know why he wants a job where he doesn't have to put much effort we not effort a job that doesn't require a lot from him. I suggested he be a tattoo artist... but... he can't draw to save him life so... I think he should be an actor he's amazing in our theater class but he doesn't give himself enough credit.
I like this acting thing... it's like a big game where you're trying to convince people you're someone you're not... I enjoy it... too much... Sometimes I like to pretend life is a game that way I don't take things too seriously... I used to... but now I realize things are going to happen with or without my control... so monologue I have to have memorized and recite tomorrow... it's rather nice... from American Beauty (amazing movie) I'm just going to leave you to contemplate a bit of it that hit home for me...

I guess I could be really pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... You will someday...

I opted for doing this monologue rather than the one she picked out for the females which was from Legally Blonde ewe She hasn't been giving the girls much depth... I think it's because like out of the 6 girls I think it's six only two maybe three of us don't fit the typical girl persona... I have a little more substance don't get me wrong Reese Witherspoon is an amazing actress but not for me... so yeah... I went for the harder one... always have been one to show people up...xx