All apologies...

I now know what a fraction of regret feels like and what scares me the most is it was my fault... I knew you were intoxicated I shouldn't have left you alone for a second but I was scared and I didn't know what to do because I was intoxicated as well. I didn't know what to do... I'm so, so sorry you have no idea how much. I shouldn't have left the room. I should have made you get up and called a cab anything but what I did. I went out of the room laid on another bed in another room and cried. I was so scared. I've never been that afraid in my life and you were incoherent and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave you but... I don't know what I was thinking... I am so sorry I am going to blame myself for a long time. Seeing you cry like that coming back in that room finding you like that... I feel so guilty. I should have known better. I should have gone in there sooner. I should have done something... I know you said it's not my fault but I'm your friend and I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to take care of you when you can't take care of yourself and I feel like I let you down so much... God, I let you down... I promise it will never ever happen again. I'm not leaving you alone again... I hope you can forgive me... I hope I can forgive me... I just... I feel so stupid... I'm sorry... God, I'm sorry... It's not your fault... it's not your fault at all... I just didn't know what to do... I messed up and I'm so so sorry because it hurt you... God, I'm so stupid... I should have known better... I'm sorry... it won't happen again I promise you... I promise... I'll take better care of you... I swear... I'm sorry...xx