Here she lies a girl in love with the world but alas she was only ever drama's mistress

I have royally fucked myself over this time...xx

I think this may be the end for me
I think it's too late for me now
I think I messed up for the last time
I think it's... over

I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked x10 I AM FUCKED. I had borders I had boundaries and I let him cross them and the sad part is I don't care anymore. I don't care that he has a wife. I don't care about that stupid fucking ring on his finger. I used to have morals I used to say that would never be me and look where is got me. Just look . . . Just fucking look at me.
God I thought you never gave people more than they can handle. I believe in you and I believe you are there but when are you going to step in and say "World I think you are fucking yourselves over and it's time to fix your mistakes"
I'm so selfish I can't see beyond my little world of drama I'm getting off subject there are people dying daily and all you have to do is step in and take over. Innocent people are dying and they don't have to be. This is not how the world has to be. You have the power to make things better so why don't you. WHY!!! If God is Love and I truly believe it to be then where are you. I thought I was the one desensitized but it seems you are. You care don't you. You care that people are hurting don't you? I feel like I've lost faith but maybe it's you who has lost faith. Have you completely given up on us?
I'm hurting. I'm hurting I'm fucking hurting God. Can you see my tears can you feel the pain I'm feeling? Have you ever felt pain? Do you feel pain when you look at the state of this world? GIVE ME A SIGN you're still listening. There is so much good in this world so much but it is never going to have a chance to flourish without the sun.
I'm......... losing it. I'm on the verge of a serious breakdown....... a breakdown. Maybe that's what I need. I hate feeling like I could sleep the next few days and not give a shit for the world or the people in it. not leave my room, not leave my house, not eating not drinking barely breathing just existing. Is this what you have planned in the grand scheme of things. me hiding away withering away I'm dying God damn it. I am dying inside and hardly anyone in this fucking fucked up world gives a damn.
I swear if I could find the nearest cliff I would fling myself off of it and be concerned with the world no longer.
Fuck this world that's fucking me over. I care about you and you care about your fucking selves. Fuck you... FUCK YOU...
I'm not losing it.... I'm lost...xx