10 things you probably didn't know about me and one painful truth

10. I still watch cartoons (closet anime freak)( I would go to a Cosplay event if it wasn't too weird).
9. When I'm barefoot I walk around on my tip toes.
8. I used to be a hardcore Jesus freak.
7. My eyes change color with my mood and my clothes.
6. I can't snap or cross my eyes.
5. I can't say cinnamon.
4. I tell people I don't believe in love so I won't be disappointed when I don't find it but in reality it's one of the only things I believe in.
3. I believe in Ghost.
2. I bite my lip when I'm intrigued.
1. I'm in love with someone I can never have and I think he may love me back. He kissed me and I want him to do it again...

just wasting time nothing better to do on a manic Monday. I need to get my head straight. I need to get my priorities straight. I feel like my mind is at war honestly. Beth says I need to stop thinking and just go with it but my heart is having conflicts. Too many to count. I wish I had someone to talk to about it. I mean Beth is amazing but I need an outside perspective. Though they'll probably tell me what my heart is telling me and what I don't want to hear. I just wish I knew what he wanted from me. What does he want from me? I guess I should ask him but I honestly don't think he knows, how could he? I should have stopped it while I was ahead but it's too late for me now. I'm emotionally attached. I don't know when it happened. It was over night. It just snuck up on me. I didn't expect it I knew my borders, or atleast I thought I did, and somehow they got crossed. Ugh maybe I am over thinking this. I need a pocket Dr.Phil though I know what he would say and I know he would disapprove. God so many contradictions in my mind so many conflicts. I thought things were getting better but it seems there's a brand new kind of drama something I never expected... Jesus what's wrong with me...xx