Okay so I've had a little clarity brought to my eyes thanks to two amazing friends. I've decided to just let these feelings go. I'm letting them go. I think this is going to be a long process and that I'm going to need all the help I can get but I'm not feeling like this another day.
Maybe I do alienate myself. It's nothing personal I'm not stuck up I'm just insecure. Very insecure with everything about me. This is a personal issue and there's no reason for me to shut people about because of it. I am guarded I've said that before but me being guarded has slowly turned into a self inflicted prison without me even realizing it. I put up my walls so I wouldn't get hurt by others but it turns out I'm hurting myself. I haven't lost faith in people I've lost faith in myself. I've got to get that back somehow. I just don't think my opinions or my ideas are worth mentioning. So I stay quiet and reserved. I've got to undo years of feeling unimportant and unworthy. So please if you can help me out.
Anyways I just wanted to say I'm feeling much better and I thank you for that. I still need to talk if you're whiling to listen but I feel a little less hopeless. So thank you... xx
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