Am I really as alone as I feel?

Or do I alienate myself? Is this a self inflicted solitary confinement. I don't think so. I can be in a room full of a hundred people as I often am and feel completely alone. I hate this feeling. I hate that I'm crying over it because in truth I'm numb on the inside. I am numb. The tears are a facade that make me seem human but I am empty and numb and alone. I've felt this way so long you think I would be used to it, but I'm not.
I hate waking up every day and walking through those door and barely functioning. I am like a robot. I do what I have to do I go home and I sleep the world away. I am happier asleep more than I am awake.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about running. Just running away and seeing if my location is what's making me feel this way. Surly the whole world isn't like this. But what if it is what if I'm going to feel this way every where I go. Life wouldn't be worth living, not like this. The world can't be like this. I can't run though, I'm afraid of being alone ironic as it is and I don't think I'm strong enough to go by myself... I know I'm not.
I would sell my soul for no one to ever feel like I'm feeling right now ever again, in a heart beat. This is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like all I'm doing is existing. Like I'm not worth the breath I take for granted. Like I will never amount to anything worth anyone's time. Like I'm nothing but another nameless face in a world full of people who will never see me. Never. I know there are bigger issues in the world than mine but at the moment I don't care. If the world went to war and every country was destroying everyone else I wouldn't care. I don't care about the world or myself. I just don't.
I am so lost, I'm lost. I can't find my home and I'm alone... What's the point in writing this or wasting my breath no one's listening anyways.
God, please take these feelings away. This is not who I am anymore. There has got to be more to life than this. There has to.... There has to.... Please. . . I can't take feeling this way. I don't want to be empty or numb I don't want to feel alone anymore... I don't want to wake up looking around my empty room and feeling like this, ever again... I want to run... more than anything right now, I want to leave everything behind and just run away... somebody help me... please... I can't take this... I'm dying on the outside, I'm already dead on the in. I can't live like this anymore... something has got to change... I'm not giving up I'm just lost... please help me...