Here with me

Why do I feel like 80% (that's being generous) of people aren't worth my time?
I'm constantly losing faith in people as a whole. It's not that I think I'm better than everyone just more than the average person. Eh... I need to get the hell out of this town away from these people. Somewhere I can breathe somewhere I can feel fresh and brand new. Somewhere where things still take my breath away at the same time. Contradictions, contradictions...
I need a fresh start but at the same time I want to be close to my friends and family and the people I love. I wish I could take everyone I love in this world and transport them to some deserted island and forget the world. Won't happen but it's a nice thought.
I have three cloves before I quit. I don't think I'm addicted but it is a comfort to have them. Jesus I picked a hell of a time to quit. I'm under more pressure more stress more pain than I've ever been in, in my life and I decide now's a good time to kick the habit. Way to go me. My timing is always fucking off. Always. It's always been this way for as long as I can remember.
I don't know what I'm saying... A vacation would be nice. Some time to travel... In the end all we really have is time and I feel like Mine is slipping away just out of reach. I'm stuck in some twilight zone of infinite repeats...
I've got to break away before I break down...

I fucking miss him and I can't sleep. atleast not any sleep that's worth a damn. He's comfort to me and when he's away it's hard to do much of anything. I fucked myself over with this love thing... if he's happy I can pretend I'm happy... I hope he's happy...xx