I'm going to have to learn to be okay when I hear his name... more importantly when I hear people talking shit they know nothing about... me wanting him is a joke... it was the other way around... he wanted me... I never paid him any attention until a good while after we had been friends... so don't think of me as some poor little girl who had a crush... he knew exactly what he was after and it wasn't mutual in the beginning... I remember early on in our friendship he said he would never cheat on his wife... and I thought him this good person because I could tell even then how much he wanted me... but lust turns good men into the words they swear by... they're still good men... but the pedestal he was on is gone... I suppose the same goes for me I was an angel and I turned into a home wrecker overnight... but I've finally come to grips that the marriage is and was falling apart before I stepped in and it take two people to cheat... I never asked him to get in my bed... I never asked him for anything so get your stories straight... don't make me out to be anything but what I am... I'm no angel but I'm not a home wrecker either... he's doing a good job of that on his own he doesn't need me...
This is the last week of school I have a final I didn't study for in an hour...
I'm not waiting... I'm not waiting on anyone or anything... life is much too short to spend your life waiting on someone to make up their mind... I know that now... I've known it for awhile... I can't depend on someone else for my happiness and I don't... I make my own happiness... I make my own sunshine... I don't need him or anyone else to be happy...
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